My last post was about the challenges of decluttering my office space. I’m happy to report that my office is actually really tidy right now! The image with this blog was taken using my smartphone to immortalize this rare occurrence.

Now I have a confession to make, having a space this tidy is very uncomfortable for me!!! People who know me from my days in the military, from my time in military college up until the day I retired, know that I thrive when surrounded by what looks like chaos to others. One of my past mentees even commented about the state of my office on the Facebook thread that accompanied my last blog.

I really like to be able to see and lay my hands on every project that I’m working on. That being said, it’s also nice to have all my highlighters and pens in one place, so I don’t have to search for them. I’m seeking a balance between creative chaos and organization.

Monday, when I mentioned the discomfort of working in a clean office to one of my WE-CAN Project at Queens coaches, Orlena Cain, she said that discomfort means that we’re growing. She reminded me that people can become accustomed to and comfortable with situations that are not healthy for them. Orlena suggested several ways of decluttering in our group session that morning, and repeated them during our one-on-one coaching session that afternoon.

One of her suggestions was to declutter email files by unsubscribing to newsletters we don’t read, deleting completed email threads, and emptying spam and trash folders. I know I get a vicarious thrill every time I empty my email trash!

She recommended spending 10 minutes every day decluttering, setting an alarm clock if necessary. One of my high school friends suggests starting with 5 minutes, and a Thought Partner I've worked with suggests starting with 3 minutes. The idea is that by starting with a manageable period of time, we get something done, and often we get into the groove and invest more than the time we originally allotted to the task. 

Orlena shared that listening to inspirational music while sorting emails works for her. That resonated with me, as I regularly listen to two of my favourite CBC Podcasts while filing, Unreserved with Falen Johnson and Under the Influence with Terry O’Reilly.

I’ve learned that sometimes people need to be ready for a lesson before they can absorb it.  I’ve noticed that it may take three or more times before a new idea sinks in as applicable to me.  I’ve written about this before, back in April 2020 in my blog post called Digital Bread Crumbs (See blog post https://www.empoweredpath.ca/blog/digital-bread-crumbs) when I wrote about how many times people shared the value of having your business listed in Google my Business before I finally took action. Shout out to Dionne Baker, Shop Boss Secrets, my eCommerce coach, who sets practical tasks for me such as back linking to previous blogs!

I won’t promise to keep my office this tidy all the time, because that’s simply not realistic. For example, I’ve already put the clear storage box with my draft book manuscript, highlighters, and copious notes, onto the flat surface in front of the flag presentation box. I can still see the flag and medals!  I’ve also temporarily thrown the comfy new fleece sweater my spouse gave me for my birthday onto the gliding rocker. I’ll be taking that with me when I leave my office at the end of the day.

While remaining tidy is uncomfortable, I’ve drafted plans, including seeking help from professional organizers, to help me store and access my papers, books and other resources in my office space. Someday, I may even post photos of the wooden bookshelves I plan to eventually install and of an open closet filled with colour coded file boxes.

What growth is making you uncomfortable this week?

I come from a long line of pack rats, we’re not quite hoarders, we just tend to keep everything that may prove to be useful, someday! I generally view challenges as opportunities. I was going to call this blog “Decluttering: Challenge or Opportunity?” except that I couldn’t quite wrap my head about what opportunities this process is bringing my way.

I decided to celebrate the Lunar New Year, Valentines and Family Day weekend, by doing some strategic decluttering. It’s the second phase of a major decluttering project that started in 2019. That year, with the help of the Mommy Mops team, we reorganized our kitchen, going through every cupboard and shelf, finding things to donate, and some foodstuffs to compost. In addition, several van loads of outgrown children’s clothing, toys, books and some kitchen gadgets we’d never used were donated locally.

By the end of 2019, we hit a bit of a brick wall. The rest of the things that needed to be sorted were mostly work papers, photographs and other family memorabilia. These things take time and personal attention. Dozens of bins and file boxes were dragged upstairs to sort through. Many papers were recycled, more were set aside for shredding. Thanks to Assist in Time, the first file box’s worth of shredding was completed in 2020.

With the pandemic, our family has mostly stayed home. We do go out for work, school, supplies, and exercise. We also tend to stick to what my spouse calls our “pods.” We each have a room in the house to call our own, and spend most of our time indoors in our pods. Emerging periodically for meals and conversations with each other.

It’s easy to ignore those last few boxes of photos and papers, still in the living and family rooms, when I’m in my home office, focusing on my laptop. I love learning, and interacting with people online is a great way to learn. I’m not so fond of tidying, filing or sorting.

I have gathered more things to donate locally. What most people would classify as the entry way to our home, is once again a staging area with a variety of bags and boxes of books, toys and clothing, just waiting for charities to reopen to accepting donations.
 
This weekend, I decided to start decluttering my home office. There are several practical reasons to declutter. I’m working on a few projects, and I’d like to be able to easily find the materials related to each, without resorting to going through piles of notebooks and papers. Another reason is that I’m getting my office ready for a video shoot. I need to declutter to allow the Lot 48. Film Co. access to my office space, so they can create a video about my company Empowered Path Inc.

While my family is helpful when it comes to moving furniture and reinstalling closet doors, they can’t really help with my work papers. Given the current pandemic restrictions, I can’t call on outside help. I have to keep sorting through my files and paperwork by myself!

The easy part of the decluttering was tucking things into cupboards, drawers and closets, matching likes to likes, just as the Mommy Mops team taught me in 2019. I’m pleased to report that I’ve made significant progress with papers, and that the full-sized recycling bin in my office is now half full! I still have six short piles of papers to sort through, some dating back to this time last year. That recycling bin may be full soon.

Why am I writing about decluttering?  This is something I loathe doing, and while I’ve been thinking about what my end goal is, I haven’t been able to concentrate on any other topic long enough to write a blog. I know that experts say blog posts should be written in advance, and scheduled. I get it, that makes sense, and works for a lot of people. I’m trying to play to my strengths, which means writing from the heart, about what’s on my mind each week.

I also like answering people’s questions. However, the questions I’ve received in the last week all require me to do a bit of research before providing a credible response. Once my office is tidy, I’ll get right on those questions!

I’d love suggestions about how to keep my work space tidy moving forward. The only thing is, filing cabinets don’t work for me. I do have and use colour coded file boxes. In addition, while many people thrive with a clear desk, I prefer to keep all the projects I’m working on, out in the open, which is why I did not take a picture of my desk. My clients wouldn’t appreciate seeing my notes about their projects in print!
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Any organizing advice you’d like to share would be appreciated!
 
 
 
 
 

The last week in January 2021, about 1700 people attended the Human Resources Professional Association (HRPA) Annual Conference. I’m honoured to share that I was one of the 73 speakers featured during the conference.

When I attend a conference, I go forth with the intent of learning everything I can from the speakers, the tradeshow exhibitors, and from the people I interact with. I’m one of those people who attend 7 am sessions, and stay late to participate in the meet and greet events.

This year, was a little bit different, and not just because I was there as a speaker! For the first time HRPA held a fully virtual annual conference. Overall, it was a great experience, with 4 days packed with learning opportunities.

The one thing I really missed, was moving between the main hall, breakout session rooms and the tradeshow. Sitting at my laptop for several hours a day was not as much fun as the chance encounters that happen when I move among thousands of people with similar interests.

The virtual platform was robust, offering an easy to navigate agenda which we used to reach breakout session Zoom rooms, a virtual tradeshow with 3 floors, and an engagement hub, among other things!  There were even morning yoga and cooking classes and live music during the lunch breaks.

I’m a Digital immigrant, learning how to effectively use the engagement hub took me two days! I quickly figured out how to send connections, that was easy. The chat function took me time to understand. I thought starting a chat meant you had to actually type something into the platform and then wait for a reply. Several people started chats with no text, which confused me quite a bit!

I was thrilled when a person reached out through the chat function to thank me for my session, saying they enjoyed reading the transcript. It took me a couple of more days, and an email to the help desk to figure out where the transcripts were! Because I think in words, and not images, I didn’t notice the icons sitting demurely under the “enter session here” button until the wonderful HRPA help desk team sent me an email with a screen shot and a written explanation pointing out where to find the transcripts. Thanks Tina!!!

While I learned a lot of interesting and exciting HR and Leadership concepts and practices, this post is about what I learned as a speaker. I learned that when I was recording the session, I looked at my notes way more than when I do a session for a live audience; even compared to doing a session online with a live audience. When I know there are people watching and listening, even if I can’t see them, I feel energized and do what I can to make eye contact. During the recording I moved my arms and head, used facial expressions and changes in my voice to emphasize different points and to convey emotion.  However, my eyes spent the majority of the time glancing at my notes! This observation reminded me NOT to look at my notes while recording video! I followed up by practicing recording other content this week so I can do better moving forward.

From some of the other speakers, I learned how to ask engaging questions, to simulate speaking to a live audience. I saw the chat room blowing up with comments when speakers asked for their feedback. It was powerful!

I learned that it’s fun to answer questions live, while my video was running. I also observed how effective it was to have closed captioning for the keynote speakers, and wished that the transcripts provided for the breakout sessions had been added to these videos as closed captioning, something that is relatively easy to do when editing video. I’m glad that as I record sessions moving forward, I’ll be using Adobe Connect, which allows for adding the closed captioning as an option that viewers can turn off or on, to suit their needs.

I know I can learn what to do, or not to do, when I watch others deliver content. The closing keynote, Shawn Kanungo provided an example to aspire to. Shawn rented a theater in his home community and invited a small video and tech support crew, as well as an HRPA member to join him live.  Shawn stalked the stage, used a white board, and tech, had the big screen behind him and two videographers filming him move around the main stage and another set. He was fabulous!

For now, I’ll keep working at learning how to share content from my home office, through my laptop and smartphone. I'm learning video techniques from Aaron and Angela, at Lot 48 Film Co.

I’m curious, what kind of content would you like me to share through video? Do you have questions you’d like me to answer in a blog or a video? If so please let me know!

One of the top tips shared by content creators is to write about what your audience let’s you know they want to learn more about. This week’s blog is in response to a question on LinkedIn about why the words “Happy Birthday” can be a trigger.

One of my special interests in Inclusion. I enjoy learning about all aspects of diversity, inclusion, and equity. One of the ways that I learn, is to pay attention to what people with different lived experiences share on social media. My favourite micro learning platform, as of the writing of this piece, is Twitter.  Investing time in learning how others would like to be treated, can help you act respectfully to others, particularly those who don’t have the same privileges you enjoy.

I’ve learned that there are many different words and content that can trigger people, causing them unnecessary pain and/or discomfort. People who post regularly on social media sometimes include warnings in the form of acronyms at the beginning of a post such as “CW” for “Content Warning” and “TW” for “Trigger Warning.” Some will include a word or two to let people know what type of trigger warning they’re sharing, for example “TW (suicide)” or “CW … Transphobia.”

I’ve also read different posts featuring the results of studies conducted by social scientist’s on whether or not trigger warnings are effective. Like most topics, there are at least two schools of thought on the topic!

Back when I was a junior officer in the military, the phrase “politically correct” became a part of every day language. It also became the basis for jokes, with people making comments about being “PC.” The term politically correct still exists today. This post isn’t about being politically correct. This post is about making a conscious choice to use respectful language.

Many of the people I’ve met in real life would be surprised to learn that the words “Happy Birthday” could trigger someone. Last year, I learned that these two words can cause LGBTQ+ people, Neurodivergent people, and abuse survivor’s distress.
 
Here’s what I’ve come to understand about why that is so. I’m not an expert, I’m simply sharing what I’ve learned. Let’s start with LGBTQ+ people, particularly Trans people. Many Trans people choose a new name and to celebrate the day that they became known by their new name. Parents can unknowingly put a lot of pressure on their offspring. When a child is born, the first thing many parents share is whether their child is a boy or a girl, as if gender was the most important thing you could know about someone! For people who are assigned male or female at birth (AMAB or AFAB) who grow up knowing that they’ve been misgendered, there can be a lot of trauma involved with memories of family celebrations. Especially if the person’s family resisted understanding who the person genuinely is.  My understanding is that Trans people may be triggered by birthday greetings which can bring up bad memories of the years when they were not living as their authentic self.

For many Neurodivergent people (people whose brains work differently than the majority of the population) the thought of being forced to celebrate milestones in situations that caused sensory distress can be triggering. What do I mean by sensory distress? A situation that is too loud, too busy, with too many people, with lights that are too bright, where they were pressured to: smile when they didn’t feel like it, to show joy in a fashion that was recognizable to Neurotypical people, and/or wear “dress up” clothing that was unbearably uncomfortable. The list goes on, and on, and on.

Survivors from abusive relationships, any type of abusive relationship, may also be triggered by birthday greetings, as they are reminded of unpleasant, and even dangerous past celebrations.

Learning that people can be triggered by birthday greetings gave me reason to reflect. I realized I could use different language, that more clearly articulated what I wish for people. In 2020, I started using "Wishing you and all your loved ones: health, joy and abundance.” I genuinely wish people to find health, joy and abundance. I choose to repeat this wish as often as possible, to help manifest it.

Those who know me well, know that remembering birthdays and anniversaries is not one of my strengths. Luckily, Facebook reminds me when family and friends have milestone dates coming up, which means I find myself sharing "Wishing you and all your loved ones: health, joy and abundance” pretty regularly. I also use this phrase as a closing sentence when signing off on some of my email, and in response to some social media posts. You can choose a different and more creative way of wishing someone well moving forward too!

I’d like to mention one other triggering word “articulate.” Ever since I can remember, I’ve considered this to be a positive word, one that describes someone’s style of communication as being worthy of recognition. I recently learned that many Black, Indigenous, and People of Colour (BIPOC) people are triggered by being described as articulate. I’ve come to understand that enough people use the word in a disparaging way, in a way that expresses surprise that a BIPOC person can communicate effectively and professionally, that many BIPOC people find the word triggering. I can only hope that anyone I’ve referred to as articulate knows that I meant it from a place of genuine respect.  It’s a word I’ve used about myself. Now that I’ve learned it can trigger people, I use the word much more sparingly.

I'd like to know If your thoughts on what I've written. If you’re curious about learning more, please let me know! If I can answer your questions I will. I’m also happy to refer you to subject matter experts, with lived experience.

Over the 2020 holiday break, as we kept to our home and connected with our family and friends through phone and video calls, I had the privilege of taking a break from my business.

During that break I did a few things I don’t normally do, like trying to cook a few family favourite recipes, from scratch, with mixed results. Everyone who knows me well, knows I do not enjoy cooking! I bring groceries into our home and sometimes even prepare food for my family, because we need to eat.

During the first 2020 lockdown, when sleep schedules were shifted to everyone’s own internal clock, there was someone awake and active in our home pretty much 24 hours a day. Since I didn’t relish the idea of becoming a short order cook, when there were so many other things I like to do, I stopped trying to cook for my family. My spouse and our offspring are all able to prepare their own meals.

Most years we spend Christmas eve with my in-laws, and Christmas or Boxing day with my side of the family. This year, that simply wasn’t possible. I asked our offspring what favourite meals they would miss, they answered ham and potatoes and homemade macaroni and cheese.

The Christmas eve potatoes were delicious!  We made two types – mashed and roasted lemon garlic.  Unfortunately, I forgot to read the instructions on the ham, and started cooking it too late. Eventually the ham started smelling cooked so I rescued it from the oven, and we discovered that while the idea of pre-sliced ham is nice, it’s also very dry, especially if you cook it as long as the directions say you should! Between the veggie sides, and the ham and potatoes, everyone had something to eat Christmas eve.

Christmas dinner was more successful, mostly because I was relegated to sous-chef, chopping onions and cooking noodles and rice to go along with my spouse’s signature holiday goulash. Add a few buns from our local grocery store and some veggies and everyone enjoyed dinner that day. We even sat at the same table at the same time!

I hit the cooking jackpot on Boxing day, when I followed my mother in laws instructions on how to make home made macaroni and cheese. She told me to do what I’ve watched her do many times in her kitchen. She did not give me a recipe to follow, she reminded me of the ingredients, and the order to use them. Then I did it, I created home made macaroni and cheese from scratch, including grating the block of cheese and making the cheesy sauce! I also made spaghetti with leftover steak and some jarred pasta sauce for the meat lovers. All three offspring chose to chow down on the homemade mac and cheese, it was a success! They even said I can make it for them again.

Having three days of home cooked meals, meant several days worth of leftovers, with everyone foraging in the kitchen when they were hungry.

For New Year’s Eve, one of the dishes I attempted to make was breakfast potatoes. Lesson learned, if you’re going to bake onions and peppers with potatoes, bake the potatoes on their own for a while first, so the other veggies don’t burn to a crisp in the olive oil! Let’s just say, it was another foraging night for most of our family members.

One of the other things I did over the holidays was to read several books. Most of those books were novels. Some were light reading and like holiday candy, just left me wanting more! I also finished reading one educational book “So you want to talk about race” by Ijeoma Oluo. There’s a lot to unpack from reading this book. For the rest of this post, I’m going to talk about privilege.

The first time I recall being schooled in privilege was in 2014, when an elderly white woman marched up to me after a talk that received a standing ovation, to tell me that she disagreed completely with everything that I’d just said. I asked her what she disagreed with, because I’m always interested in learning from people with different lived experience. She told me that I was speaking from a place of privilege, that she hadn’t enjoyed as an immigrant who came to Canada after World War II. She was right, and I’ve tried to be more aware of my privileges since then, and to take it into consideration when I prepare sessions.

Reading Ijeoma Oluo’s book made me realize I should further reflect on my privilege. I knew that I was privileged to be born to Canadian parents, who are still married to each other, and who continue to provide love and advice to me and my family. My in-laws are also still married to each other, and my spouse and I have been together for decades.

I already knew that being a cis-gender heterosexual white coded woman gave me privilege.

While my mother strictly rationed our food when we were young, because there was only so much money to see our family through to the end of the month, I never worried about not having enough to eat. In High School, my sibling and I were given a budget for back-to-school clothing. To my mind there always seemed to be enough. I’d like to think that my offspring, while not getting everything they’ve asked for, feel like they don’t have to worry about where their next meal is coming from (other than having to prepare it for themselves) or having enough clothing and other basic necessities.

Intellectually, I know that I have a lot to be grateful for. Reading Ijeoma’s words helped emphasize that a safe home, food security, potable water, and safe transportation are also privileges, that allow me to see the world differently from so many others.

I also have the privilege of being a mostly able-bodied person. Wearing glasses to help correct vision has become so ubiquitous as to be not considered a disability by many people, including most of us who wear corrective lenses! I can walk, drive and otherwise move myself where ever I want to go, whenever I want to. This gives me more privilege.

Having a defined benefit military pension (good for life) means that I also have a measure of income security. My pension is not affected by the pandemic. I have the privilege of working from home, and doing what I love most, because of all those other privileges.

Ijeoma asks her readers to check our privilege, and to check it often. To make ourselves a little bit uncomfortable by making decisions to dismantle the systems that maintain privilege. She asks us to leverage our privilege to help others have the same opportunities that we take for granted.

In 2020, I invested in learning how to create more accessible online content. Learning new things is another privilege I have. Now seems like a great time to do more, to leverage my privilege to help others have the same opportunities I sometimes take for granted. I’m still figuring out how I’m going to make myself uncomfortable moving forward as I work to help others achieve their goals.
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I’d love to get your feedback on what you’d like me to do!

As I was wondering what to write about this week, several topics came to mind. To make sure that I hadn’t already written about them, I decided to scroll back through my blogs this year and came away with the idea of writing about gratitude – again!

It turns out that about once a month I find a reason to write something about gratitude. I also regularly find myself suggesting to my thought partners that they practice gratitude. Why? Because gratitude can help people achieve their goals no matter what their background, circumstances, or aspirations.

As I consume social and mainstream media, I keep coming across stories of people who are upset that their governments are telling them to stay home for the holidays, to help slow down the spread of the pandemic. Many people are complaining, and some are mourning the lost opportunity of visiting loved ones. I’ve celebrated major holidays away from my family for work reasons in the past. This year, I’m choosing to connect virtually, to help keep everyone safe and healthy.

Rather than dwelling on what you may be missing at this time of year, I urge you to consider what you have to be grateful for. Start by appreciating the things that you may be taking for granted, like a safe home, potable (drinkable) water, food security and access to safe and affordable transportation. There are many people around the world, including in the lands we call Canada, who do NOT have these things. If you do, then make a conscious choice to be thankful.

Take the time to be grateful for flush toilets in your home. I recently learned that my father grew up using an outhouse. His family finally installed a toilet in their home after he left. I never once heard my grandmother complain about raising six children in a home with no toilet. She modeled gratitude every time we met. She also modeled seeing the good in people, saying things like “they mean well.”
 
Practicing gratitude can start with saying thank you to those who provide a service, from your dentist to the cashier at your local store. Practicing gratitude can include thanking your friends for keeping in touch, even if now that’s likely to mean by text, email, phone call or video chat. Everyone is dealing with their own challenges. If a “like” on your social media post is all the energy your friends, family and colleagues have right now, be grateful that they paused long enough to click on your post.

When you invest your time and energy into finding things to be grateful for, you will be pleasantly surprised by the other things that you’ll notice. For the analytical types out there, I challenge you to make a record of 3 things that you’re grateful for each day, for the next 21 days. At the end of the experiment, I’d like you to go back and review your record. Note the new things that you found to be grateful for over time. Note if there was any change in the magnitude of your gratitude. I'd be grateful if you let me know how it works out for you!

The first time I tried this experiment, my “luck” increased dramatically. Noting the little things in life I was thankful for, allowed me to notice opportunities, which led to successes, and more significant things to be grateful for such as new clients.

Over time, I’ve noticed that if a person practices gratitude, it becomes a habit, one that is embedded in day to day living and work. I’ve realized that gratitude truly is the gift that keeps on giving!

Today, I’m grateful for a relatively healthy family (a pun, yet true), a safe home, potable water, food security, and a business I enjoy.  I’m also grateful for everyone who invests their time in reading these blogs. I wish all of you, and all of your loved ones: health, joy and abundance. 
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PS - I’m also very grateful for free images on Pexels.com!

In my last blog I asked if you had any questions you would like me to answer in this format. That same day, I received a Job Search question from one of my mentees. This blog expands on my answer.

Question: If you were conducting a job search today, how would you go about it? 

Answer: Looking for the right job, to get you set up on the career path or life you’re interested in living is a big undertaking. Most experts suggest that this search is the equivalent of a full-time job.

Students who are busy studying and perhaps working part time, and people who are already working full-time may find the prospect of doing a “full-time” job search daunting. In this blog, I’m going to share practical job search tips that you can use to help you find the right job for you. The uncomfortable truth is that the more strategic thinking you put into your job search, and the more research you do, the more effective you’re likely to be. The key is to figure out who your ideal employer is. Imagine that you’re in your dream job…

Create your "Ideal Employer" profile. Include your criteria for organizational culture, type of work, opportunities for advancement and/or additional training and education.

What is the workplace culture? Is your employer inclusive? Do they value the efforts of everyone on their team? Are they willing to give someone without much experience, yet lots of potential the opportunity to shine? Does your ideal employer offer you opportunities for training and education? Once you’ve figured out who your ideal employer is, start searching for the real life equivalent.

To find my ideal employer, I would start by reviewing Canada's Best Diversity employers list (for the 2020 list click here). I want to work in an organization that is actively striving to be more inclusive. 
If you want to work in a particular geographic region, narrow down the list to employers that are present in that location. The Chamber of Commerce business directory is a great place to find employers who believe in the power of networking in the region where you’d like to work.

You can also share your Ideal Employer profile with your trusted network to ask if they know of an organization that seems like a match.

Pro Tip: Use Boolean search strings to help find potential employers.

Once you’ve got a list of potential employers, research them. Seriously, spend the time researching your short list of potential employers. There are a whole bunch of resources out there to help you, including Glassdoor, an organization that helps people find jobs, research employers, compare salaries and apply for jobs.

You can also research potential employers by taking an in depth look at their publicly available information on their website, in local magazines and newspapers, and their social media feeds.

If employers on your short list have online application platforms, you can sign up to be notified of job openings that might interest you.

You can also ask your network if they know anyone who works/worked there. Someone in your network may be able to introduce you to someone working with your ideal employer. You could then invite that person to participate in an informational interview. For now, as the pandemic rages across the world, that likely means by phone or video chat.

Once you’ve narrowed down your list to the top 3 employers, try to figure out what problems they may be facing, and how you could help.

Write custom cover letters and resumes showcasing how you can help each employer with their potential problems. The employer doesn’t necessarily have to be posting jobs for you to send them a custom cover letter and resume.

Once we’ve moved beyond the pandemic, or when face to face meetings are once again practical and safe, ask for an opportunity to meet with a decision maker to further discuss how you can help that employer. Offer to bring them a complimentary beverage (tea, coffee, hot chocolate, or iced drinks during warmer weather). In the interim, ask for a phone or video meeting.

Anywhere between 70 to 80 per cent of jobs are never advertised. Small and Medium Enterprises often create jobs to fill the needs of their company. Why not try to help your preferred employer create your dream job?

We’re living through a time full of choices, ranging from radical to small. You may be familiar with the motivational phrases “Attitudes are contagious! Is yours worth catching?”

You can choose your attitude. You can choose to celebrate the little things that go well, you can choose to enjoy your work, even if it’s not your dream job. You can choose to be happy about your life, and you can make choices that help you achieve your goals.

You can make choices about where you live, work, learn and play. Sometimes there are external constraints that are beyond our control. For example, you can’t choose to make the sun come out on a rainy day. You can choose to celebrate the gift of life that gentle rain brings while you shelter in what I hope is a safe home.

I grew up learning not to waste my energy on trying to change things that are completely out of my control. I was also taught to choose to make decisions that would help me reach my goals, and that I could accomplish anything I set my mind to. These may seem like contradictory teachings. Here’s a story about a life altering decision that I made.

While on my second maternity leave, a colleague that I’d worked with prior to having my first child became a veteran. We got together regularly to go on walks in the woods, taking along my infant, who enjoyed peering out at nature from a robust stroller. One day I asked her why she’d retired, while she was still relatively young, and doing so well in her career. She said something that stuck with me over the years. She said she chose to retire while she was still having fun. She told me of people who’d overstayed their time in the military. People who left feeling bitter and angry and whose negative attitudes had been contagious in their workplaces. She said she chose to leave on her terms, when she was ready.

I thought about that teaching over the years. Until it became my time to choose to become a veteran, while I was still relatively young, and still doing well in my career. The military made a choice about what they wanted me to do next. Once I realized that I would not be able to change their decision, which didn’t suit my long-term goals, I knew it was time to leave.
 
The time between making the decision to become a veteran, and figuring out what I would do next, caused me some anxiety. Even when I wasn’t sure what the future would hold, I chose to enjoy my military career right up until my last day in uniform, staying late to finish off a few more things. I also chose to seize opportunities to do things I loved, like speaking at conferences, and setting up a speaking engagement on embracing diversity shortly after I officially become a veteran.

I’ve enjoyed the learning experience of becoming an entrepreneur, and figuring out ways to get paid for doing what I’m good at and love doing, all the while helping others learn ways that they can thrive.

In the past few years, as a Thought Partner helping people figure out new career paths and/or how to grow their dream business, the power of people making the choices that are right for them has been illustrated over and over again.

You too can choose to make decisions that will help you achieve your goals. You can consciously choose to find joy in the little things at the place you are in now. You can look at your options, and make small and large decisions to help you achieve your long-term goals. You can choose a timeline to achieve your goals, and then you can choose to roll with the unexpected that will appear in your life in both good and seemingly bad ways. Taking ownership of your choices allows you to be more open to unexpected opportunities which may help you achieve your goals faster than you planned. Sometimes roadblocks appear which may at first seem to be insurmountable. You can choose to look at those roadblocks as obstacles or as opportunities. They may point the way to a different path, one that will bring you more joy along the way to your long-term goals.

I choose to celebrate the things in life that I find inspiring, that bring me joy. This choice helps me stay positive, even during turbulent circumstances. A choice can be as simple as loving a social media post because it is inspiring. I choose to be happy!

​I hope that you choose joy, in the life you’re leading right now, until you choose to make changes to help you achieve your dreams!

When I was a child, I was taught that I lived in a man’s world, and that as a woman I would have to do more than men to succeed. My father in particular repeated this teaching. He wasn’t saying that it was the way the world should be, he was arming my sister and I for the reality we would eventually discover when we started work.

Our parents also taught us that we could pursue any career we wanted. From a young age, I liked being in charge, so I decided to become a military officer. There’s more to it than that, but that’s a story for another time and place.

When I eventually met someone, I wanted to spend my life with and we married, I never doubted I could be a mom and an officer at the same time. I was promoted from Major to Lieutenant Colonel, in 8 years, which in those days was about the average time for a Logistics officer. All three of our children were born while I was a Major. The week I became a veteran, our youngest child started grade 1.

The world was a less inclusive place when I started my military career. About a year after I was commissioned, a friend from my military college days and I were talking on the phone. Like many young people we talked about our social lives. They told me that they had met someone new. I asked about the person (assuming that they were a different gender than my friend). My friend told me that they were dating someone of the same gender. My response was to ask my friend if the person made them happy. As long as they were treating my friend well, I didn’t care what gender they were.

Since those days I’ve read that more than 82 genders have been identified. Recently while preparing to deliver an Inclusion session on gender, I went looking for the research. It’s all very well and good to say there are 82 (or more) genders, however I wanted to be able to back that up by science. I found that the World Health Organization (WHO) has a Genomic resource centre which details many combinations of the X and Y chromosomes, resulting in a variety of genders including: 45X, 45Y, 46XX, 46XY, 47XXX, 47XYY, 47XXY, and more. If you’re an analytical thinker, then I suggest you read the WHO Gender and Genetics page. It’s definitely worth the read!

I also discovered that there are many cultures around the world that accept and have understood that there are more than two genders for millennia. For example, I knew that some of the Indigenous cultures in North America understand that there are 5 genders: female, male, Two Spirit female, Two Spirit male and transgendered. If you’d like to learn more, this article in Indian Country gives an overview.

You can start making your organization a more inclusive place today, by consciously choosing to say and write “all genders” and “hello folks” instead of “both genders” and “ladies and gentlemen.” You can also add pronouns to your signature block and social media profiles. This signals that you are likely to be an ally and a safe person to talk to.

Trust me, even if you’re a cisgender heterosexual person, like me, it’s OK to include your pronouns after your name! I started early in 2020, and so far, I’ve only had two comments. A client asked me “why I made the change?” which led to a short and hopefully educational conversation on gender. A transgender colleague that I’ve known for more than 30 years thanked me.

Are you interested in learning more about gender inclusion?  Register for the 2021 Human Resources Professional Association (HRPA) Annual Conference and sign up for my session called “The Workplace Business Case for Gender Equality.” It will be broadcast at 11 am on Wednesday January 27, 2021. I’ll be there live to answer your questions!